she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
