i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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