I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
