im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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