i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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