It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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