The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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