So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
