I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
