yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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