I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
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