that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
