remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
