I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
