This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
