You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
