You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
