After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
