1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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