We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
In other news, I just burned my penis
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
