first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
