im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
