Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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