we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
