you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
