Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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