I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
