We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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