Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
