Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
