My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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