Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
