I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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