i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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