...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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