Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
