hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
