Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
