well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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