Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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