I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
