apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
How naked do you want me to be?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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