so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
