what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
