i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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