i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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