are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
