ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
