Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
