what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
