Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
